The Lions Heavy Heart
by St33lStrif3
Summary: Months after the Female Titan was captured, she is freed by an old friend. Forced to take on a new identity and face her old sins, she has to come to terms with the things she has done. And in the process reconnect with the man who may be the only ally she has left in the world within the walls. Picture belongs to HamsterTitan on DeviantArt. Will remove if requested. M for violence
1. Jail Break

**A/N: And we are BACK! I know, I've been offline for a long time. And even before that, I wasn't regular in terms of updates and the like. But, hopefully, this time will be different.**

 **Warning here and now, this introductory chapter is probably going to be boring as hell. So if you bore easy and my writing doesn't capture your interest, this is your chance to leave.**

 **... No? Alright then. Hope that means you're in for the long haul.**

 **First things first, I'd like to say thank you to Crod42 for rekindling the creativity in my head. I had a lot of ideas, but next to no intentions of ever penning them down, until he inspired me to make this. Please go check out his story, A Blacksmiths Tale, over on his profile**

 **Second, with the recent updates to the manga, this will be NOTHING like the last story I had planned. It will be much different, and hopefully much more believable.**

 **And last, I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin. This story is going to be based on the information we know at the time, but is ultimately AU**

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Four months. Four long, brutal, God forsaken months of nonstop bare knuckled fighting, pick pocketing, and hand crushing/leg breaking it had taken him. But finally, he did it. John had obtained enough to finally get into the Interior. He could finally find her. And put to rest the rumors of the destruction she had caused.

First step was securing himself, which is where the Ehrmich district came in. He fought, stole and earned enough money to get into the Inner wall, where no one would suspect a Shifter to hide. It was during this time that he heard about the beast titan and the consumption of the Colossal titan, which made him escalate his plans, moving faster and harder. Next came learning her location. A few drinks with the Scout regiment and a few bribes to some of the cleaner dirty MPs accomplished that. Third, a way to get her out. He knew about her abilities thanks to a friend, so the crystal wasn't an issue. And finally, to get in and out of there with his identity intact.

While subtly was not his strong suit, knocking people out was, whether through punching or choking. And that was really all it took was quick and fast movements on his part, and weak jaws and lungs on the parts of the guards he sneaked past. He had taken the hood, the outfit, and the ODM Gear (he didn't know how to use it, but he was always a quick study) off the poor, unsuspecting soldier. Using this disguise, he got close to the guards at the stables before subduing them and taking two horses (one for escape, the other for another plan), moving as fast as he possibly could.

The middle two steps took a good two weeks to accomplish. But finally, here he was, watching from a distance the fortress where the soldiers were holding her. Now it came time for the final step, which was arguably the hardest. While Wall Maria had yet to be fully taken back by the Scout Regiment, they didn't need all of their troops in the field. But at the same time, not so many were back after the two month excursion as to make this impossibly difficult. It was more of a skeleton crew at the moment, with most of the commanding officers, NCOs, and the two shifters among their numbers out in the field.

He watched from a distance as the small patrol proceeded back on their assigned route after a quick break to rest their feet, relieve themselves, and talk a bit. Once they were on their way, rifles at the ready and ODM Gear fully stocked, he began his approach. There were a few sentries up top, but they were enraptured in their conversation. And even if they weren't, to them it just looked like another Scout soldier with his hood up on what was admittedly a cold night. Once inside, he stuck to side corridors and closets to avoid anyone and everyone. He didn't know anything about the place, just that the stairs had to be somewhere. Finally, after searching, he found them.

Unfortunate part was, there was a group of three soldiers that were standing/sitting guard. And despite the fact they seemed to have camaraderie with one another and were laughing, each one had the look of a soldier who was more than ready to kill if they needed to. Each was armed with a rifle and a freshly restocked ODM Gear. While it wouldn't provide an advantage in the narrow halls of the fort, the swords could cut him limb from limb in seconds. He just took a deep breath and had to think about it for a moment. Then, he came up with an idea. He just hoped no one was in the kitchen...

~X-x-x-x-X~

Franz chuckled in a combination of pity and humor as Adelbert finished a particularly horrible joke about a turtle getting mugged by a snail when he noticed someone walking down the hall towards them. He 'tsst'ed to Adelbert and Ivan to look, prompting them to get their rifles ready as the figure got closer.

When they saw it was just a kid in a scout uniform and cloak carrying a silver tray with steaming cups of what smelled like coffee, they lowered their weapons. Franz grunted as he looked the black haired, green eyed kid up and down. "Haven't seen you before." He said suspiciously. "Why the hood kid? And who the hell are you?"

The kid gulped. "So-sorry sir, its just cold tonight.. I-I'm new here, sir. Name of Johnny. I j-just transferred here from the Garrison. Yo-you see, my father is a Captain in the garrison and he pulled some str-"

"I don't need to hear your life story, cadet." Franz growled out, though Adelbert made an indication with his hands, out of sight of the kid, to calm down. He huffed. "Why would you transfer here, of all places? You suicidal?"

The kid looked down. It was obvious he was nervous, since the tray was shaking. But it wasn't Franz' job to care. It was his job to make sure no suspicious persons got to the prisoner below. And he took his job seriously. "Answer me, kid!"

The boy jumped, taking a deep breath. "I knew Petra Ral from when I was younger, Sir." He answered. Franz looked to the other two, exchanging a look of sorrow from hearing their friends name, and for bringing up the loss in the kids mind. "After hearing what happened to her, I asked my father to transfer me here."

Franz sighed, leaning his rifle against the wall. "Sorry, kid... Can't be too careful." He took one of the cups and sniffed it. "Coffee, eh? Awfully nice of you."

Johnny nodded. "Yes sir! I was told to bring it to you so you could last until you're relieved!" He said, sounding excited

Franz nodded and took a sip while Adelbert and Ivan picked up their cups. He promptly spit it out, wiping his tongue off. "That's disgusting! What did you put in this?!"

"What I was told to sir!" Johnny said, holding the tray in front of himself protectively as the other two tasted it to see what was so bad about it, since it smelled fine. "Cream! Sugar! Honey, in your case!" He then muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?" Franz said, blinking. All of a sudden his eyes felt heavy, and he wasn't the only one, Adelbert shaking his head trying to stay awake and Ivan yawning loudly.

"I said, and a bit of sticklewart." Johnny replied, smirking as he dropped the tray. Franz' eyes widened in realization and he took a swing at him, but was slow and easily dodged. He landed on the ground with a 'thump', the other two following suit right on top of him. John smirked, shaking his head. "Sorry, boys. Just be glad it didn't come to blows. Then you'd have a REAL headache tomorrow." He told them as he went down the stairs

~X-x-x-x-X~

He moved along the wall, hugging it as he progressed through the tunnel slowly. He had found a few rooms so far, but they mainly had rations or weapons and supplies. And while he did find some dried meat reserved for the officers (he put that in his knapsack), none of it was useful to him and was definitely not what he was looking for. It felt like he'd been searching for an hour (really, it was only a few minutes) before he found the room. He took a peek, letting out a breath of relief at what he saw.

There she was. Frozen in crystal, immune to the effects of time and any damage they wanted to inflict. She looked beautiful to him, and despite the circumstance, he couldn't help but admire her form and beauty. There wasn't enough time for that, though, as he took a deep breath and prepared himself. There were two guards inside the door and two more soldiers studying her and taking notes, probably for their commander, Hange. Each one was armed, though only the two guards had rifles.

He leaned back into cover, back to the wall as he took a second to think this through. He ran through each plan in his head: running in would result in getting shot in the back. Attempting to fight one of the two guards would not only give the other soldiers time to react, but would again result in him getting shot. The only option he saw was to take the guns out of play and get to the two soldiers before they had a chance to alert the others or kill him. But most of all, she needed to be safe. One stray bullet could be bad.

Taking a deep breath, he turned around the corner and walked in the door, stopping with his hands up when the two guards noticed him and aimed their weapons. The one on the right, who appeared to be the older of the two, is the one who asked him, "Who are you? Why are you down here?"

John coughed slightly and mumbled something unintelligible to the two guards, causing the older one to lean in, taking his gun off of John. "What did you say?" He asked.

John smirked. "I said, Why do you want your nose broken?" He asked, bringing his elbow straight up and shattering the guards nose. He followed with a chop to the jaw to knock him out before moving around the back of him and kicking him into the second guard. The left guard, being smaller, was effectively pinned, unable to get his partner off of him. He picked up the rifle the man dropped and threw it (stock first) like a spear into the closest soldier, smacking him in the head and forcing it back into the crystal with a 'thunk'. He'd definitely feel that in the morning, John thought.

Unfortunately, by this point, the fourth soldier had drawn her swords by this point and was running towards him. He matched her speed, heading directly at her before ducking under the horizontal swing and slid behind her. To her credit, she was quick, turning and swinging at him. But he was quicker, jumping back a fair distance and drawing her closer to the crystal. He dodged about two more swipes, his cloak and clothes taking some cuts before he ducked under a horizontal slash that caused her to hit her blades against the crystal. While they didn't break, the shock was enough to her her arms and stop her advance, which gave him time to slide in under her arms and move around behind her, putting her in a sleeper hold. Ten seconds later, after she dropped her blades and tried to reach back at his head, she went limp and he immediately dropped her so he didn't kill her.

He then went over to the other guard, who finally managed to get his partner off of him, to pin him by his chest with his foot and delivering a harsh, downward punch right to his jaw, knocking him out. Shaking his hands and dusting himself off, he let out a sigh of relief. "Coulda gone worse." He muttered.

He approached the crystal and took out one of the blades from his stolen ODM Gear before climbing up onto the crystal. He positioned the tip of the blade near her head and took a breath to steady himself. Too far, and he'd kill her. Closing his eyes for a few seconds, he opened his eyes and, focusing on that one spot, he reared back and stabbed downward with both hands, the blade penetrating the crystal enough that it started to crack.

He withdrew the blade and kicked off the crystal, landing a few feet away as the cracks began spider webbing, moving throughout and all around the gigantic crystal before finally it came crumbling down, the girl inside crumpling like a rag doll. Putting the blade away, he walked through the discarded shards and knelt down next to her. He dusted her off and lifted her gently in his arms. He tapped her face, which elicited a tired, sore groan from her, but didn't wake her. That was enough for him to breathe a sigh of relief. She was alive.

He picked her up in his arms and pulled her close to his chest. "Don't worry, Annie... I'll get you out of here..." He whispered to her before turning and walking out the door.

And of course there was going to be an alarm. It was a fortress, it was the army, and nothing was ever this easy. He had finally mounted the horse with her wrapped in his stolen cloak in front of him, leaning back into his chest, when he heard shouting and then the bell in the tower ringing. He growled and snapped the reins hard, kicking the horse with his boot so it would get going, and quickly. Not quick enough, though, since he heard a whistling noise and a loud pop as an illumination flare was launched. Once it lit up his hiding spot, it wasn't long before gunshots were heard and bullets came whizzing past him as he made his escape. He covered Annie with his body, her protection during the escape the imperative that guided his actions. He headed south, where he had a contingency set up in case he got noticed. He just hoped he could make it there in time.

~X-x-x-x-X~

Klaus spotted the horse up ahead. He waved his torch to let the ones behind him know they were getting close, which meant they were to follow his lead in putting their horses into a full on sprint, quickly closing the distance on the much slower horse, enough that he could swap the torch to his other hands and grabbing the reigns to stop it. Klaus hopped off his horse and took out a sword with his free hand, pointing it at the rider on the horse. "Alright. Far enough, interloper. Time to get off and give us the prisoner." He was trying to take it easy and avoid spooking the rider or the Female Titan. And since he went through the trouble of breaking her out, he was probably one of them. They couldn't deal with a sudden shift here and now. Not dealing with her, or worse, both of them.

When no response, not even a movement, was seen or heard, Klaus growled and indicated for the others to get ready, which they did, all drawing their weapons loudly and dramatically. "You hear that? I have an entire platoon of angry soldiers out here, ready to cut into you and the traitor at any moment. So, get off the horse and put your hands up." He said, nudging the cloak with his blade. But it felt... off. Not like poking a living being with a super sharp blade. It felt like poking a sack of potatoes. And there was no response or movement, yet again.

Now he was getting suspicious. He put his sword away, but motioned for the others to be ready just in case. He slowly approached the figure on the horse before grabbing the cloak and throwing it off, staring dumbfounded at what he saw: a rucksack and a saddle bag, positioned to look like the low riding prone intruder they had seen. No trace of him or the prisoner he had broken out. They hadnt detected anyone on the way to that point and everyone, aside from those still at the base, was out here. This meant one thing: they had been played.

~X-x-x-x-X~

John could not help but keep smirking as he rode towards Ehrmich, his pursuers far behind them. His ploy had worked so much better than he expected, the soldiers riding right past his hiding spot to chase the decoy he had sent out. He was honestly worried at first, afraid they'd find him or that they wouldn't believe the decoy was him. But fortune smiled upon him, which meant he could begin the hour and a half long ride back. Annie hadnt waken up during that entire incident, which he was thankful for, but also worried him. It meant she was extremely tired after her ordeal. And despite the fact she still breathed, if she didn't wake up soon, it could be bad.

It only took a little over an hour to finally get to the wall. And judging by the lack of armed response waiting for him, his ploy had worked, at least for now. He found a spot close enough to his home that didn't have as many guards up top. Ditching the horse, the Scout cloak, and the military jacket, he found some flat, open ground by the wall and got ready. He had never used the omnidirectional maneuvering gear before, so this would certainly a new experience to say the very least.

Making sure Annie was held close to him in a comfortable manner for both of them and in a way she wouldnt be injured, his used his free hand to aim and fire the grappling wire into the wall. It hit his target near the top of the wall, but he wasnt prepared for the speed at which the fan spun and retracted the wire into the gear. He hit the wall hard, impacting it on his side with an audible 'crunch'. He groaned loudly, making sure Annie was safe before he planted his feet on the wall and stood, using the wire for support. He pressed on his ribs, groaning as pain shot through his chest. He had to guess he broke about five ribs. And from the swelling in his cheek, probably his cheek bone too. That didn't matter to him, though. They'd be healed soon enough.

Now, this next part was crucial. Taking a deep breath, he detached the hook and jumped outward before firing the hook over the wall. It anchored successfully in the top, and this time John was ready, landing on his feet and bending his knees to absorb the impact (something he had learned while repelling) and walked slowly up the wall, making sure to keep Annie secured the entire way. Once on top, he detached the line and knelt on the ground, the pain in his ribs catching up with him. Forcing himself to stand up, he moved to the other side of the wall quickly and looked down.

His home was only a few blocks from here, which meant he had estimated the spot correctly. But now came the part he REALLY wasnt going to like. He turned around and shot his hook into the top of the wall. From there, he approached it like one would repelling during rock climbing, slowly walking backwards before he jumped down onto the vertical wall face. From there, he jumped back and down a few times, stopping when he got about 10 meters from the ground. Positioning Annie on top of him, he took a deep breath and, using his boot knife, cut the straps that were holding him in. This cause the gear to move upwards to the top of the wall, and him to fall a good 33 feet to the cobblestone street.

It didn't feel good, to say the least. The fall was bad enough, but the fall WITH someone on top of him made it painful enough that he literally could not make a single noise, laying on the ground and breathing heavily, resisting the urge to scream in agony when he felt air reenter his lungs. It took a few minutes before he could finally move, but move he did, rolling Annie off of him ungracefully so he could roll onto his stomach and push himself up. That second part took the most work, and even when he stood he couldn't stay that way, falling to his knees. Using the wall, he stood up and took a few moments to collect himself before taking a deep breath and continuing with his objective. Safety was only a walk away.

Picking her up and putting her over his shoulder, he walked (more like limped, due to the fractured femur he had to deal with) through the back alleys and the side streets to avoid running into anyone. The trip was relatively quick (considering the fact he was dealing with more broken ribs and a lot of impact fractures from the fall) and since it was at night, no one really noticed the two figures stalking towards the ground floor of a nice looking townhouse and kicking the door open then closed behind them.

He took her to the spare bedroom, which he had set up with a bed and a nightstand with oil lamp. Not much, but he didn't know what she'd want, if anything, so he went with the basics. Using his free hand to pull the covers off the top, he laid her down gently on her side. He couldn't help but smile at how peaceful she looked, pulling the blanket over her and rubbing her shoulder softly before standing up with a groan, going out, and closing the door. He went to the pantry, depositing the meat he had brought and taking the strongest bottle of liquor he had. Sitting at the table, he yanked the cork out with his teeth and proceeded to take a rather long swig. He'd need a bit of it to get through the pain tonight...

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 **A/N: Well, hope that was good. This took about three drafts before I got it right, so hope it was enjoyable. I put it two months ahead of the retaking of Wall Maria so that tactically speaking, some of the soldiers would still be out in the field and story speaking, I could incorporate cannon up until the point it becomes impossible.**

 **As for the ride back, the horses have a top speed of 50 mph and a constant speed of 22 mph. Since Annie was in a crystal and I doubt they wanted to drag her that far, I assumed that they took her to a base that was close to Stohess where she was captured. As for why it took over an hour, he rode south towards Rose at top speed for a bit before heading back to Sina.**

 **Enough of the math lesson, though! There are some foreshadowing remarks and not so subtle clues as to what the not so secret secret of what is so special about John actually is. Suspicions will be confirmed in the next chapter, promise. Its probably obvious, but this is just to clarify**

 **Also, I have two pictures I wanted to use for this story. Trying to get permission to use them, so bear with me for now. Tell me what you think of the first one when I put it up.**

 **That is it for me for now, so I thank you for sticking with it, and hope to see you more in the future!**


	2. Confessions

**A/N: What's this? An update less than a week later? :0 SHOCKING!**

 **In seriousness, though, I'm glad I am able to get back to this story this quickly. I have to apologize for the long introductory chapter, but the original jailbreak, split across two chapters, didn't really fit well. So, upon advice from friends, I combined them into one. Hopefully works better.**

 **Anyway, enough from me. On with the story! Be warned, lots of drama, dialogue, and descriptions in this chapter. Plus a reveal that absolutely EVERYONE saw coming.**

 **On a serious note, DO NOT PROCEED PAST THIS POINT IF THE THOUGHT OF SOMEONE MAKING SOMEONE CRY UNDER THREAT OF PAIN CAUSES YOU DISCOMFORT! ALSO IF YOU DISLIKE HEAVY ANGST OR ARE SENSITIVE TO THE SUBJECT OF SUICIDE! Because the latter is contemplated and the former is heavy. Trust me, hard enough for myself, seeing as how I've gone through something similar. Nothing like Annie or Alexander, but still the same feeling of depression from guilt.**

 **I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin. I also do not own Dillon. He belongs to Crod42. I encourage you to check his AoT story, A Blacksmiths Tale**

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Annie didn't know how long she had been out. The last thing she remembered was Eren (who for some reason was on fire) biting into the nape of her Titans neck and pulling her out, tears streaming down her face. Then, it went black. So one could only imagine her surprise when she opened her eyes and found herself surrounded by a soft blanket on a comfortable bed with a fluffy pillow under her head. Originally, she thought it was a dream and closed her eyes tight, opening them again a few moments later to see if anything changed. Once it didn't, she got nervous.

First, she checked her wrists to see if she was shackled, and when she wasn't, she peeked over the edge of the blanket to the window. Outside, she saw the bright sun shining through, illuminating the vendors trying to sell their wares and the smiling, happy children just outside. Sitting up and tossing the blanket off, she swung her feet over the edge of the bed and stood up. She hadn't used her legs in a while so she was shaky, but she steadied herself soon enough and went to the door, opening it slowly and peering outside.

It was a nice house, furnished well enough that it looked comfortable, and from what she could see of the dining room table, the owner could afford some of the finer things, like eggs and tomatoes. She didn't see anyone, but she heard someone in the kitchen, where her sight line did not extend. She did, however, have a clear line for the door leading out. So, taking a pause to ready herself, she opened her door slowly and began moving quietly towards the door, hugging the wall the whole time. As she rounded the corner and peered into the kitchen, she stopped as she found herself staring at the back of who she presumed to be the resident. While she couldn't see his face, she could see he was well built and, judging from the way he handled the knife to cut the vegetables he was cooking, was probably skilled enough to be a threat.

Decided to accelerate her escape, she began moving faster to the door. She was about three quarters of the way there when she was stopped short as she heard the man spoke. "Morning sleeping beauty." He said. "Glad you woke up. All that would have been for nothing if you had been in a coma. Hardening is easy for a Titan, but exhausting on a human." She turned to look back at him, confused as to how he knew about her abilities, and why his voice sounded so familiar. Her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat when he turned around.

There, standing only a few yards away was someone she hadn't seen since she was eight years old. Someone she had honestly never expected to see again. Standing there, with that goofy, idiotic smile she both hated and missed, was John. She couldn't help but just stand there, staring in utter shock, which caused him to chuckle as he set down the cooked potatoes next to the eggs he had prepared her. "Come on, you can't be that shocked. Where else was Alexander supposed to take me? To sea?" He asked her, sitting down at one of the three chairs at the table. He indicated for her to take the other place at the table, which she did after a lot of hesitation.

She looked down at the food in front of her, unconsciously licking her lips (which made sense, seeing as how she hadn't eaten in a while). John just chuckled once more, causing her to look up at him. He took a sip of his coffee before indicating to her food. "Eat up! Made it specially for you. I know how much you like eggs." She didn't need to be told twice, taking the silverware (which she was surprised to find was actual silver) and digging into the eggs, sighing happily as she put a piece in her mouth. She chewed it slowly, savoring the first bite of the first things this good she had eaten in literally years. After taking a few bites she washed it down with the coffee he had prepared her. Despite the bitter taste, it was a good roast, which made her breathe a sigh of contentment as she held the cup in her hands. This prompted yet another chuckle from John, who she had known to find humor in the smallest of things.

Speaking of her savior, it was time she address the elephant in the room, looking over her coffee cup to him. She considered her words carefully, eventually settling on, "You're alive..."

He downright laughed at that, shaking his head. "No. I'm a ghost sent to haunt you."

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Always with the jokes..."

"Its how I cope." He said with a shrug. And despite the friendly tone, the next part was serious, which he conveyed by hardening his gaze. "You know. After Alexander died when Maria fell."

This caused her to stop, freezing as she was about to take a drink. She was frozen in surprise, guilt, and no small amount of fear. She gulped and looked up slowly, flinching when she saw the glare he was giving her, all traces of camaraderie and congeniality gone. "I-I'm sorry... I-we didn't..."

"Know?" He asked before giving her a smile that was anything but friendly or happy. "Of course not! You weren't to know that he lived just outside the Shiganshina district. You couldn't have known he'd get devoured helping people escape. You, Reiner, Bertholdt, Marcel- you were all just doing your jobs. Right?" He scoffed, leaning back in his chair. "No way for you to know what your actions would cause."

"Don't blame Marcel. He wasn't part of it." She said quietly, but loud enough for him to hear. She just looked at the coffee in her cup, rubbing the side of it softly. "He... He died on the way here. A Titan ate him."

John sighed, shaking his head. "... Sorry... He was a good guy."

"Yes... He was... So was Alexander." She said, looking up at him. "... I'm sorry, John... I really am. What happened with the wall... it was just supposed to get us in. That's it."

"Well, you succeeded." He said, taking a sip. "And all it cost was 20% of humanities population. And for what? The Coordinate?" He scoffed at that, shaking his head. "I tell you right now. It is NOT worth it."

"Probably not..." She said, looking back down at the coffee. "... I just wanted to get home to my father. He is the only one I have left. And if... if I never..."

"I know." He said, cutting her off. "If you didn't get your target, you would be written off as a failure. You could kiss your life with your father in Marley goodbye. Not that it'd be much a life, considering we only have five years left. Curse of Ymir and all."

Annie didn't respond, still staring straight down as she quietly sipped on her coffee. She hadn't touched her food since the conversation had started.

John grunted, setting his cup down and standing up. He went next to her, knelt down to her and spoke softly. "Annie. I didn't get you out of that fortress and break that crystal to accuse you of what happened five years ago. I understand better than anyone why you did it. Trust me. I got you out to free you. To get on with your life beyond this. And I'll help you." His voice then turned hard, along with his gaze. "But I want you to answer something for me. And if you even think about lying, I will know. And I will act accordingly." His threat delivered, he stood up and took a step back, giving her some space. He sat quiet for a few moments, causing her to look at him expectantly, equal measures interest and anxiety in her eyes. Taking a breath, he went ahead and asked her.

"Did you really kill over 70 soldiers? Garrison, scout, AND military police?" He spoke slowly, enunciating every word to make his point clear. "Because when I heard that a female Titan attacked the Scout Regiment during their excursion a few months back, and then invaded Stohess... it couldn't have possibly been as bad as they said. Right?" He got in closer to make sure that the last part of his question got through to her. "Because the Annie I know... she wouldn't do a thing like that. She'd only fight if she had to. And even then, it wouldn't be innocent people. Ones I knew personally. Right?"

The moment the first part of the question left his lips, she looked down, regret and hurt evident on her face. She was sure the number was higher than that, even before the expedition. She had lured the Titans to the walls, after all, which caused dozens, if not hundreds, of civilian and military deaths, and played a part in the slaughter of 20% of the population. And she didn't know how many had died when she attacked the Scouts outside the wall, just how many she had killed personally. In the Stohess district, she really had only fought in self defense, but that doesn't mean everyone she killed was for that reason. And that wasn't including the countless civilian lives claimed during the battle between her and Eren. Not to mention the lives destroyed by the battle, whether it be parents or children lost, homes wrecked, or livelihoods taken due to injury or destruction.

An impatient grunt brought her back to the present, and the reality that someone was asking her a question that had no good answer. Denying it would be a lie, and he wouldn't like that. Confirming it was as good as signing her own death certificate, in her mind, because even if he was still the same person she knew all those years ago, that meant he still had a strong sense of justice. Which also meant he might decide to repay those deaths. She could try to explain it, but... there was nothing to explain. She had killed for the mission, little else. She could claim she just wanted to return home, but they both knew that, for everything she had back there, she hated it. Her father was all she had, and though she wanted to get back to him, she knew that the lives destroyed and people killed weren't justifiable for that selfish ambition alone. So, she said the only thing she could.

"Yes. I did." She wanted to say more. That she regretted it. That she wished she could take the last five years back. But she didn't get the chance.

Neither of them knew how they ended up there, but they did. After a few seconds in silence when Annie confirmed his suspicions, his vision went red. Next thing he knew, he had her by the shoulders, pressed against the wall. Her face was fixed in an expression of utter terror. But he didn't care.

He growled. "Why would you DO that?" He yelled, causing her to flinch and look down. "I don't give a DAMN about your mission or your feelings on humanity! They were SONS and DAUGHTERS! MOTHERS and FATHERS!" He pulled her forward slightly and slammed her into the wall to accentuate his next words. "The had LIVES!" Another slam into the wall, this one rattling the ceiling "HOMES!" He did it one more time to drive the point home. "FAMILIES! And you just killed them like ANIMALS?!"

She couldn't look up at him, not with how angry he was and how scared she felt. "I-I just- I wanted-"

"WHAT?! To go home? To return to that hell hole they call kingdom? Dozens of lives- no, HUNDREDS of lives, just so you could run back to daddy? How many daughters and sons wont see their parents now, thanks to you? How many orphans and widows have you created? And for WHAT?!"

She didn't respond. She didn't say anything, she made no movements to escape his grip and she didn't try to reason with him. She couldn't. And this pissed him off even more, as to him, this was her essentially pleading no contest. That what she did wasn't wrong, or that she felt no guilt. Rearing back with one hand, he slammed it into the brick next to her head, causing both it and his hand to fracture, blood running in between his fingers. This made her jump as he closed the distance between their faces and whispered threateningly, "Look me in the eyes and give me an answer."

When she did as he said, however, he didn't see the face of horror she had before. All he saw were her eyes, teared up, and looking as if she wanted just to curl up and die. In that moment of clarity, he saw it: the ragged breathing, the tense shoulders, the clenched fists. She felt guilty about it, that much he could see. But there was something far beyond the guilt and sadness.

Fear.

Fear of him. Fear of what he might do. He had gotten that look before, but he never expected it from her of all people. That look alone was enough to make him release her and step back, looking halfway between dumbstruck and horrified as she fell to her knees. "I-I'm sorry... I d-didn't mean to..." He fell back and landed on the floor, sitting across from her. He could only stare at his hands, mouth agape. And she could only stare at the floor, tears threatening to fall.

"Just do it." Were the words the finally broke the silence, causing John to look across at her. She just shook her head and looked up at him through blurry eyes. "Why don't you just do it?! I deserve it! I've killed, I've hurt, lives have been lost because of me!" She moved closer to him, grabbing his hands and putting them around her neck. "So just do it... one more death won't change anything!"

John sat that, dumbstruck, his hands around Annie's throat. She was right: he could kill her here and now, and no one would know. And probably no one would care. Except for him. He took his hands away and placed them on her shoulders. "Annie, I didn't get you out of that prison just to kill you. I got you out because..." It was at this point he stopped. Why did he get her out? Their past association? His naive belief that she didn't do the things he had heard about? His supposed feelings for her? Taking a deep breath, he let out a sigh. "... because I care about you, Annie. Always have, always will. And because I was given a second chance by the people here. Alexander and I both." He took a chance here, reaching up and wiping her eyes with his sleeve. "And unless you do something different than what I think you will, you can get one, too."

She closed her eyes as he wiped them dry and looked into his when she opened them again. She shook her head, pushing his hands away. "I don't deserve it..."

He shrugged, trying not to appear uncaring while doing so. "So? No one does, Annie. Alexander certainly didn't, after what he put us through. But I gave it to him, despite my feelings towards him. And in the end, he proved himself worthy of it. And I have the utmost faith that in the end, you will too." Taking another chance, he moved closer and brought her into a gentle hug. She didn't fight him, but she didn't return it. She just allowed him to hold her, closing her eyes and taking what little comfort she could out of the situation.

But then what he said finally clicked in her head. She pulled back from him, wiping her eyes. "You said 'unless I do something different'. What did you mean?"

He did say that. And while he hoped she hadn't noticed, he was ready to explain, regardless of how it made her feel about him. "It means that if you don't do what I think- meaning, if you threaten the safety of the people in this wall, or you try to continue your mission- then I promise you... I will kill you, no question or hesitation." He told her, eyes hard and voice clear. "This wall is my home now. And I want you to share it with me. Not try to destroy it. I used to trust you, Annie. Not so much now, but enough to give you this chance."

Despite how harsh he was with it, she understood why he was doing it. He cared for her safety as much as anyone else', but at the same time, he didn't want any more damage done to the people he cared about. And if she did it at this point, it'd be her own decision. No orders to blame, nothing. She nodded, taking a breath. "I understand... and I don't blame you."

"I'm glad." He said with a smile. "Now, if you're going to be here, you can't be running around looking the same as before. Someone will recognize you eventually." He stood and gently pulled her up with him. "Tomorrow, we'll get started on disguising you. Today, I just want you to get comfortable. That room is yours. Do whatever you want with it, and if you need anything, I'll get it for you, long as it isn't something stupid or expensive. Pantry is stocked with bread and potatoes, and a little bit of spirits. Don't touch those. My door is always open to you while I'm here, and that is where I spend most of my time." He then rubbed his chin, trying to think of anything he left out. "Let's see... oh! Basement entrance is out back. Of the three tenets who live here, I'm the only one who really uses it. As for the district-"

She held her hand up, shaking her head. "I joined the military police. I know a bit about the center wall and its districts."

He nodded in return. "Okay, then. Guess there isn't much else I need to go over... I don't have anything to do today. I'm all yours for the time being. Do you have anything to ask? Something I didn't cover that you want to know?"

"News." She said. "I want to know what happened while I was asleep." Seeing the surprised look his face, she sighed. "Forget it, it was a stupid request..."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "No! No, it makes sense. Just, I thought you'd want something more. You know?"

"Like what?" She asked, giving him a strange look.

"I dunno. Like... a better mattress, a new blanket, something silk... you know, girly stuff."

She then gave him one of her glares, the kind that made her look like an ax murderer. "Have you EVER known me to like those sorts of things?"

He held his hands up in surrender, the glare being enough to tell him that he made a mistake. "Hey! Hey, calm down. I'm new to this! All I know is what I hear!" Once she didn't look like she was about to rip his throat out, he put his hands down. "Okay! No girly stuff. Got it. We'll just talk!" He let out a sigh, setting her chair at the table back up. "Just sit down, and lets finish our meal. Coffee may be spilled, food may be cold, but hey, its breakfast." He went and sat back in his spot. "Already sent a message to a friend, he'll be here tomorrow to help. I've got absolutely nothing to do today, as I already said. Now... what do you want to know first?"

She huffed and sat back down, deciding she might as well enjoy the food. "First things first. I want to know what happened to Reiner and Bertholdt..."

The day passed quickly with a bunch of questions, some tears, and a whole lot of coffee- and some bourbon later in the day- but all in all, she got her questions answered, and at the same time, she got a feel for where John stood. It was as she suspected: pissed as he was, his feelings for her (which he was horrible at hiding, as always) kept him from killing her then and there.

Questions weren't always about news, either. She asked things about him, what he'd been doing, how he'd been doing. Those often took the longest for them to get through, feelings of nostalgia rising each time. It wasn't towards the end of the day, though, that the question she'd been wanting to ask finally was.

"What happened to Alexander?" She asked suddenly, hoping it wouldn't catch him off guard. And she was thankful when it didn't. They both knew it was coming eventually.

He sighed, shaking his head. "Like I said. He was helping people. Kids, mostly. He wasn't a strong man, but he and I did our best to get the children through the gate. We had finally gotten through the gate when..."

"Reiner." She said, not even needing him to finish it. He smashed the gate and let the Titans into Maria."

"Exactly. When the gate was crashed open, debris went everywhere. Chunk of wall caught him, crushed his legs and pinned him from the waist down." He hit his palm on the table hard enough to make Annie jump. "I couldnt do anything. I couldn't cut his legs off because of how he was pinned. If I cut him off from where he was pinned, he wouldn't survive. Titans were closing in, the debris was too heavy to roll off of him. And... when I tried to..."

"You couldn't?" She guessed. "Because of how your Titan works?"

He shook his head. "No. He wouldn't let me. He said it'd do more harm than good. That I'd probably cause more damage to the refugees escaping than I would to the Titans or to Reiner. Who, by that point, had disappeared. Instead, he told me to run. Run, and not to look back." He sighed, picking up his glass. "So thats what I did. Made it to Trost the next day."

"So did we." She admitted.

"Thought as much... you've asked me questions all day." He said, indicating to the moon that was shining through the window. "Let me ask you one: Did you ever want this? This whole... thing?"

"No." She admitted almost immediately. "To be honest, I thought my father was crazy for wanting this. We were Eldians, but he thought that doing this would somehow elevate us in the eyes of the Marleyans." She scoffed. "I knew it was bull the whole time. But... he's my father. He's all I have. So I did what he wanted. I trained, I studied, I practiced. Then, the day before we leave, he tells me he was wrong. That all I had to do was come back home."

"He realizes that even if you succeeded, they would just kill you. Right?"

"Like I said. Bull." She took a sip of her glass of bourbon, hissing softly at the burn. She looked over at the clock, sighing and rubbing her eyes. "Good God, it's already midnight... when did I wake up?"

"Around 10 am. We've been talking for a while, Annie. If you want to go to bed, go. I have things to do before I sleep." He told her before standing and stretching

"Can I help?" She said, putting the cup down. "If I'm going to live here, I want to earn it."

He smiled but shook his head. "No. Not these kinds of things. It's... not something I want to expose you to just yet."

Her eyes narrowed. "Is it something illegal?"

"Yes. But not the illegal that you mean. I'm not dealing drugs or smuggling anything. I hurt people who do that. This is more... well, while not legal, it isn't exactly high on the priority list. Odd jobs here and there. I don't kill people, and the people that get hurt either asked for it or deserve it. And that is all I'm going to tell you."

"John..." She said slowly and dangerously.

"Annie, just..." He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "You heard of the Titans Blood Brewery?"

"Yes. Makers of good ale. Allegedly they have backroom dealings going. Is that what you're apart of?"

"Fighting." He said. "I recover fast, I hit hard. I'm perfect for it. Undefeated champ, so far. Good way to make money."

"So, you're idea of laying low... is to get involved in illegal activities?" She asked, giving him a look that said exactly what she thought: you're a bloody idiot.

"Illegal activities that higher ranking soldiers are involved in." He revealed. "How do you think I found you? Soldiers looking to blow off some steam or crack some heads. Officers who want to see a show or make some money betting. Occasionally, a recruit comes in and tries to make a name for himself. Usually get a few broken ribs for their effort." He waved his hand. "Look, Annie, you don't need to worry. They know me, and they love me. Made more friends than corpses and enemies in that fighting pit."

She sighed, standing and going over to him. She put a finger on his chest and told him flat out: "You come back safe. You're the only one I know who doesn't want me dead."

He smiled and brushed her hand off. "I'll be fine Annie. I'll be back in a few hours. Make sure to get some sleep. My friend is coming tomorrow to help us with your new look." He grabbed his coat and went to the door.

"What can you tell me about this friend?" She asked as he opened the door.

"Good kid. I met him a few months ago working in his fathers forge. 'Round our age. Willing to help. Kept the information to a minimum, cause if he knew who you were... well, while he wouldn't reveal it probably, he might not be as inclined to help.

"Can we trust him?" She asked. "That's the biggest problem here."

"You can trust me. And even if he doesn't trust you, he trusts me too. Is that enough for you?"

She sighed, relenting as she nodded. "For now, yes..."

"Good. Because I have to be there, or I won't get paid tonight." He said, smiling as he closed the door behind him.

She shook her head. "Idiot didn't even tell me if there was something to read..." She muttered as she went back to the room she woke up in, deciding she might as well get some REAL sleep, and not just coma sleep.

~X-x-x-x-X~

Dillon cursed as a loose stone tripped him up. Thankfully, he regained his balance, continuing his brisk walk through the streets towards Johns house. He had received a letter yesterday asking for him to be there by noon. Here it was, an hour past, and he still hadn't gotten there. He just hoped John wouldn't be pissed...

"I'm pissed." John said, slamming his hand on the table. "He's an hour late!"

"Maybe he just got caught up in the forge?" Annie suggested. Though, secretly, she hoped that no one would come. She didn't want to see anyone.

"This guy wakes up at 5 am just to make sure his 6 am alarm that he built for himself is wound." John deadpanned. "If he's late like this, its either on purpose, or he isn't coming."

"Good..." She muttered. "I don't want to see anyone. Especially if I can't trust him."

"Annie, for the fourth time, he's fine." John reassured. "I met him 7 months ago, right before the invasion of Trost. He's known my secret, has almost the entire time, and he still hasn't reported me. And, again, even if you don't trust him, you can trust me. You believe that, don't you?"

Annie didn't respond for a bit, causing John to sigh. Finally, she nodded. "Yes... I do trust you John. I just don't know if I deserve yours."

John looked at her with a glare. "Do NOT go there, Annie. If I didn't trust you, you'd still be in that prison."

"But-"

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Hey! Its me, Dillon!"

John stood and went to the door, but not before saying to Annie, "Be nice." Soon as he opened the door, he saw the young man standing there, panting and carrying his work bag.

"Yeah, sorry for being late!" He said, smiling. "I had to run here from the gate. Carriage I rode had the wheel break down halfway here. Could have taken longer, though, if I hadn't been the one to repair it. Just the retaining pin that broke, after all."

"Its fine, its fine." John said, opening the door all the way and moving out of the way so Dillon could walk in. "Me and my friend were just talking about you!"

"Yeah, about that." He said, walking inside. "You never told me about this fr-" He stopped when he saw Annie sitting at the table. "fr-fr-friend...?"

"Annie, this is Dillon. Dillon, Annie Leonhart." He said.

Dillon just stood there, staring. He, like John, came into contact with a lot of members of the military due to his job at the forge. People coming in for boot knives, repair parts for the ODM gear, rings and ID necklaces. He had heard from friends in the Survey Corps. who the Female Titan really was. And he had been told what she looked like by a close friend who trained with her. The fact that she was sitting right there was surprising enough that he didn't hear the conversation happening between the two others in the room.

"Does he always gawk like that?"

"No, he's usually more composed and polite."

"He isn't a pervert who's picturing me as a Titan, right?"

"No, Annie. He isn't." John groaned. He slapped Dillon hard in the back, bringing him back to his senses.

"Hi, I'm Dillon, please don't kill me!" The young man said with a sense of utter anxiety.

John slapped his hand to his face and dragged it downward, growling. "Oi, for the love of- Annie. Wait here. I'm going to talk to Dillon for a sec." He said, grabbing Dillon by the collar and dragging him over by the door, leaving Annie equal parts confused and upset. He huffed at him. "I swear to God, Dillon, if you cannot play this cool..."

"When you said you had a friend over, you didn't mention it was the Female fricking Titan!" Dillon said frantically. "She's a killer!"

John growled and pushed him back into the wall, the shelf above Dillon's head shaking. "Call her that again, and I will demonstrate to you how I got the name Terror of Trost."

Dillon rolled his eyes and shook his head, used to the threat by now. "Fine. But if she shifts and goes on another rampage, it is going to put a bit more than a damper on our friendship."

"If she does, I will stop her." John stated coldly.

"Fine. Now, what did you need me for?" Dillon asked, brushing out the new wrinkles in his shirt.

"I want you to measure her head for wire glasses, fingers for rings, and her hands for knives. I'm getting her a disguise and a means to defend herself." This prompted Dillon to chuckle, which made John raise an eyebrow. "Did I say something funny?"

"No, no. I just pictured making wire rim glasses for a Titan." He replied. To say John face palmed wouldn't do it justice: his palm impacted his face hard enough that there was a 'crack' as his nose gave way to the force. This prompted an even bigger chuckle out of Dillon. "Man, you just made my day.." He muttered as he went back to the kitchen in order to 'officially' meet Annie. "I apologize for acting like that. I hope you understand."

Annie crossed her arms and looked away, sinking lower in her chair. "Not like I'm not used to it. Or that I don't have a similar feeling towards myself when I see my face in the mirror... So you're the blacksmith, then?"

"More like the blacksmiths son who happens to do a few treasonous things here and there because he was asked nicely by a friend. If my parents ever found out I was doing this... well, I'd rather face attacking Titans with a pocket knife."

John cleared his throat loudly (which sounded a bit off due to the healing broken nose) in an effort to tell Dillon to avoid the topic of Titans. Annie didn't react, though, just offering her hands for Dillon. "You were supposed to measure me for rings and knife handles?"

"Yeah, thats why he called me. But I'll be perfectly honest, it isn't going to come cheap."

Annie sighed. She knew something like this would happen. "Help from strangers rarely ever is. What do you want? Money? Valuables? Favors of the carnal sort?"

Dillon shook his head, pulling up a chair and sitting in it backwards, his arms resting on the back. "No, no. No possessions, no favors. Just a deal. Glasses, rings, knife handle. Three things. In return, I get to ask three questions. Three honest answers to those three questions pay for my services. If you lie, deal is off. I can spot a lie a mile away."

Annie looked to John, who nodded, but moved into a position where could interfere if she needed him to. Annie just sighed again, looking at him. "... fine."

Dillon smiled, nodding. "Good. Now, I wasn't in Stohess when everything went down. All I know is that before this Jaeger guy showed up, the only casualties were military. Not civilian. Why did you go out of your way to avoid civilian losses?"

"The people weren't in the way of my escape or my mission. The military was. Next."

"Hmm. Interesting way of approaching it... number two: why were you crying?"

"... beg pardon?" She asked, cocking her head to the side. Really, what she was asking was, Which time? But she didn't know which times he knew about.

"Heard some soldiers say that when Jaeger ripped you out of your Titan body, you were crying before you encased yourself in that crystal thing. Why?"

She huffed, giving him a slight glare. "That is personal. Ask something else."

"Sorry Annie. Really am. But that isn't the way this works. I don't particularly care if John vouches for you. I'm drawing my own conclusions and getting my own answers, same reason you got her out. Now, Annie, please. Answer the question."

Annie looked to John, who nodded slowly. Annie looked back to Dillon, looking him in the eyes. "... because I had failed my mission. All the lives lost had been in vain. And I knew that I'd have to face the consequences, whether inside the walls or out. Next."

Dillon nodded slowly. "I see, I see. Not the answer I was expecting, but then, expectations and reality rarely line up."

"Are you here to be philosophical? Or are you going to ask her the last question?" John grunted

"I'm multitasking. Now, Annie. One last question, I promise. But no hesitation, no lies, and no silent treatment." When he didn't get a response, he took it as a sign to continue. "What... is you're favorite color?"

She blinked at that, looking to John again. He shrugged, just as confused as her. Annie looked back at him. "U-um... guess I'd have to say grey?"

"Great! Then that is all I need to know about you, Annie."

"Really? That's all you need to help someone?"

"Well, I already got the 'who are you all working for?' answers from John the first time we met, so I'm well-informed of your situation. In fact John's the only one I've asked three serious questions and he was forced to answer each and every one of them before I started helping him. I'm gonna be honest, Annie: I don't think you're a threat."

"Well, you're one of two. John is the only other one who thinks that."

"I'll try not to lose sleep over it. The point is, I could see that you do regret the decisions that led you to that moment, and that makes you a hell of a lot different than the other Shifters. If it makes you feel any better, you handled the questions better than John. He tried to BS his way out of it."

"He has a habit of attempting things like that."

Dillon chuckled as he took out a measuring tape. Once he measure her three main fingers on each hand, got her grip and palm size, andtook a measurement of her head, he got up to go write some things down.

"How did you meet him, exactly...?" Annie asked in a low tone, glancing warily towards Dillon.

"He's fine, Annie." John said, sitting down next to her. "I met him just before the Trost incident. Was working in his Dads forge for a few weeks when it happened, like I said. After everyone learned about Jaeger, I was working one day, then I got burned and, well..."

~X-x-x-x-X~

 _Dillon closed the door as he walked into the supply closet behind John. "You're a shifter, aren't you?"_

 _John whirled around and blinked, feigning ignorance. "What?"_

 _"Don't play dumb with me." He growled, shaking the red hot brand that he held. "I saw your burn earlier. It was blistering. Now all of a sudden its gone?"_

 _John laughed, shaking his head. "You were imagining things, man." He said, showing him the arm that had received the burn. "A spark hit my arm earlier. That's it."_

 _Dillon smacked the brands on one of the walls, sparks flying as he did so. "Bull. Soldiers came in here, talking about that Jaeger kid who morphed into a Titan. Apparently, he regenerated his lost limbs. Then, I heard talk about other people like him being inside the walls. I can put two and two together, you know."_

 _John sighed, sitting down on the spare anvil that was there. "Yeah. I'm a shifter. But I'm not here to hurt anyone or anything. Look, I'm... I'm just trying to scratch out a living. Father died when the walls fell, and I'm trying to earn enough to eat."_

 _"Uh huh... I'll make you a deal. You do one thing for me, prove you're not a threat, I don't tell my parents and the MPs who you are."_

 _John sighed. "Fair enough... what do you want? Written confession, want me to do something for you, break legs, crush fingers?"_

 _"No! That's- Jus- Why would that be the fir- Forget it... Look, I want to ask you three questions. You'll answer me honestly. If I even get a whiff of a lie, your ass is grass." Dillon said, twirling the brand by the ring on the end._

 _"... fine. But that counts as the first one."_

 _Dillon scoffed, but relented, holding his free hand up. "Okay. Okay. Fine. Next question, are there any others inside the walls with you? And if so, what do they want?"_

 _"That's two questions."_

 _"I said And. Stop stalling."_

 _John sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Yes, as far as I know, there are. Four of them. As for what they want, they are after another shifter."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"That wasn't the deal. Unless you want that to be the third question, move on."_

 _"You don't get to make demands here." Dillon said, glaring. "Why are they after this shifter?"_

 _John growled in response, tempted to threaten him. But he was in a losing position in this negotiation, so he relented. "Because, this Titan shifter, known as the coordinate, has special abilities that these people find interesting. And that is all I am going to give you."_

 _John huffed. "Fine. Now, last question, and you better answer it correctly: are you planning on helping them."_

 _"... only one. And only if she absolutely needs it. Is that all?"_

 _Dillons eyebrows went up at the mention of 'she'. But he had hit his quota, and John had fulfilled his obligation. Plus, he looked on the verge of cracking his skull as it was. "Curious as I am... you answered my questions. You held up your end of the bargain." He pointed the brand at him, close to his face. "BUT! If you try anything, you WILL pay for it."_

 _"Good to know, boss... can I get back to work? I need the money."_

 _Dillon nodded, stepping aside. "Go ahead. But I'll be watching you."_

 _"Wouldn't expect anything less." He said, walking out of the closet and moving back to the forge, sighing. **Just great..**. He thought, shaking his head as he picked up the hammer and continued curving the karambit blade he was shaping. **Someone who knows my identity. Lets hope he's the honest kind.**_

~X-x-x-x-X~

"Turns out he was." John finished. "Been friends ever since. Especially after I broke the fingers of someone who tried to assault his mother while he and his father were out on errands."

Dillon chuckled, walking back and sitting down as he started measuring the other hand. "Came back to find them sharing a cup of tea and laughing. Got along great after that. And now here I am, helping two Shifters right under the nose of humanity."

"Now you understand what I meant by what I said, right? Why I said if she needed it?" John asked seriously.

Dillon smirked. "Oh, trust me. I can think of a few reasons..."

John growled while Annie looked away, a light blush on her cheeks. "Dillon, I swear to the Maker..."

"What? Saving a damsel in distress, no offense Annie. Sticking it to the corrupt MPs. The excitement of breaking her out. Giving the finger to the entire military in general. Why? What did you think I meant?" He asked, his shit eating grin plain for all to see. Dillon was continuing his ambition of doing everything in his power to drive John up the wall.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that he has nice hair, beautiful eyes, nice curves. Oh, and maybe the fact her Titan is an utter fox?" John said, ignoring the fact the now blushing Annie was still sitting right there and glaring.

"A Titan form being a fox?" Dillon said, raising an eyebrow. " Well. I am not gonna just take your word for it." He turned back to Annie. "I swear I am not a pervert. I have a girlfriend," This, of course, prompted a confuses 'wat' from John, "but I am just legitimately curious if your Titan form is as cracked up as he makes it out to be."

"Wait, wait, ju-just back up..." John said, holding up a hand. "You. Mister Prude and nominated Loner of the Year since birth... have a girlfriend...? Who?"

"Soldier by the name of Sasha Braus. Met when she came in to get a resupply on her arrows one day. Nice girl. Weird sense of smell"

This caused Annies eyes to widen in alarm. "Wait... Potato girl?!"

"One and the same. Love of my life." Dillon said with a smile, though it was quickly over taken by a confused look as Annie pulled her hands back to slam them on the table, standing up and glaring at John.

"You didn't think you find this out before hand?! Before you brought him here and let him know of my existence?!"

"I didn't think he could actually get someone! Much less a soldier!"

"Hey, thats insulting." Dillon said indignantly "And look, it's going to be hard for her to find out you're here in the infirmary."

This caught Annies attention as she slowly turned back to face Dillon. "... infirmary? What do you mean? What happened?"

"She almost got killed fighting the Armored Titan." He explained, closing his eyes as the unpleasant memory of seeing her that way came back. He opened his eyes after a bit and looked back to them. "She was in critical condition last I saw her. But that was a little over a month ago."

Annie looked down, one hand going to her arm instinctively as she sat back down. "Oh... I didn't hear about that..."

"Did you know her?" Dillon asked, trying to change the subject as curiosity overtaking his sense of 'she doesn't want to talk about it', even thought John gave him a warning look.

"I did... we were in the same training regiment. We a-... we WERE friends."

"She's one of the bravest women I've ever met. Sure, people see her as someone addicted to food, but when push comes to shove, you'll never find a more dependable person to count on." He said with a slight smile. "She's recovering well, despite her severe injuries.

The only response Annie gave was to bring her legs up onto the chair with her, wrapping her arms around them.

The smile dropped as Dillon gave John a serious look. "Do you want me to leave so you can talk to her?" He asked. He may put his curiosity ahead of his manners sometimes, but he wasn't so insensitive as to ignore her obvious pain.

"Do you have everything?" John asked.

"For now, yeah. I can get the rest later."

"... what else do you need?" Annie asked him in a quiet voice.

This caught Dillon off guard, and reminded him of when he himself asked that of the soldier in question when he visited her. Dillon shook himself from the memory and looked to Annie, noticing her downcast gaze and the wet eyes that accompanied it, which prompted him to sigh, shaking his head. "Nothing. I'll go home and get to work." He stood up and put the chair back, packing his things back into his bag. As he went out the door, he turned back to Annie. "And you don't need to worry. I wont tell Sasha anything. Not until youre ready."

When he received no response, he sighed and looked to John, nodding to him in a farewell and closing the door behind him.

John looked at Annie, who had gone from angry and fearful from finding out about Sasha to sorrowful upon finding out about her condition. He placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to flinch. "Hey... it wasn't your fault."

"I know..." She said softly. "But... you saw how much her being hurt affected him. That look... how many other people have that look because of things I did? How many had to see their loved ones suffer, or have to see it still?"

"Annie, no." John warned. "We aren't going down that path. Not now."

"John, you don't underst-"

"Yes, I do, Annie!" He said, turning her chair to face him and causing her to gasp in fear. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I know all too well. Alexander went through the same thing. I'm not watching you go through it, no matter what."

"What do you mean, he went through it?" She asked, trying to calm herself down as she saw how upset he was about it. It seemed like a personal subject for him.

"The guilt. The depression. All of it. After his part in what happened to us, it started to get to him, especially when the Marleyans told him to kill me." He said. "It didn't matter how good of a mask he put on for the rest of the world. It kept him up nights, Annie. His sorrow over what happened to the five of us was so great. I couldn't help him through it at the time, no matter what I did. It finally hit a point where I had to..." He stopped and took a shaky breath, and what he said next made her gasp and look down in shock. "I had to stop him from committing suicide when I was 10. Then I finally learned why I'd heard him screaming at night. After that, he... We talked. And it was finally at that point that he realized what would happen if he wasn't there." He leaned back in his chair. "But it still did nothing to help his guilt. I couldn't do anything, and it was only a few years later that Shiganshina fell. And in all that time, I was never able to help him get past it."

He leaned forward again and too her hands into his, causing her to look at him. "I do not want that for you Annie." He told her, gripping her hands gently. "Seeing you like this... You hurt our friendship, our trust. You've done, you've killed people. You may deserve pain, maybe even death. But I believe that what you most deserve- what everyone deserves- is a second chance. Alexander never got much of one. And... we may only have a few years left. But in that time, I want you to have that second chance."

Annie looked at their hands and slowly gripped his with hers, nodding gently. "Alright... I understand. I'll try, John." She then looked back into his eyes, saying louder, "I will try to move on with my life. For you."

John smiled, giving her hands a squeeze. "That's all I want, Annie. I promise, that is all I want from you."

"But... there is one thing you need to know." She said, pulling her hands back. "One thing that happened, it... it wasn't the Titans and it wasn't me doing my job to protect my mission." She began, her voice shaking. "I... Reiner and Bertholdt were talking. About the mission. One of the other cadets, Marco, a... a friend, of mine, of all of us, he overheard them." It was at this point her breath began to get ragged. "They were going to kill him, I-I think. I came on the scene and-and Marco begged me to save him, but..." She gripped her knees, tears beginning to fall, worse than the previous night. "I told them they shouldn't have discussed it where someone could hear them! The look on-on Marco's face... that look of utter betrayal..."

John placed his hands on her arms, trying to calm her down. "Just take it easy, Annie... we don't have to discuss this now..."

"No!" She said, pulling back. "You've been so honest with me, so forward an-and personal... now I have to be honest with you." She took a deep, shaky breath and continued. "We-we didn't know what to do with him. Then Reiner... Reiner told me to take his ODM gear off. I didn't want to, but... Reiner made me." She closed her eyes as the memories came flooding back to her. "I did it! I took it off of him and we left him on the roof as a Titan came. We... we watched, all three of us as he begged us to talk it out... he begged us not to do this..." She put her hands to her head and leaned over her knees, screaming directly at the floor. "I killed him, John! I killed him! I didn't even try to save him!"

She didnt notice that he was standing until she was suddenly pulled straight up to her feet. She had been expecting a lot of things: a slap, a punch, for him to storm out. She had been expecting him to get angry over her admission, that she killed someone for no real reason. But she was not expecting to find herself pressed to his chest, his shirt absorbing her tears. They just stood there, his arms around her and holding her close as he shushed her quietly.

"Annie... stop. Please." He said softly. "I'm sorry you killed your friend, but you had to do it. If you didn't something would have happened. Reiner would've done something. Your friend..." He sighed and pulled away and looked her in the eye. She could tell from his expression how serious this was to him. "Your friend, he would've died regardless of what you did or didn't do. It was NOT your fault. It was no ones fault but Reiner. We've always known how unstable he was, even before he became a shifter. It was him. Not you. None of it was you."

She didn't know what made her tear up more: the thought that he was right and she had been blaming herself the entire time, or the thought that he was lying to her to help her. Either way, she took a breath and let it out hastily before pressing her head into his chest, her screams and sobs muffled as he held her. They stood there like that until she finally cried herself into silence, her voice ragged and her eyes puffy. She let him take her to her room, where he stayed with her until she finally cried herself to sleep. To Annie, this was just another reminder of her sins and how she couldn't escape them.

To John, however, this was the first step that she needed to take on the road to recovery. And redemption.

* * *

 **A/N: That is it for this chapter. To be honest, I thought I was making Annie too emotional. But, then, I remembered that when she was finally discovered, she was happy. She admitted she was happy they found out, which revealed an interesting fact: her cold exterior was a shell. An act. Now that she doesn't need it anymore, and since she has known John a while, she finally dropped the mask and let someone see how truly broken the entire experience made her.**

 **On from the more depressing aspects of the story, if it wasn't glaringly obvious, yes. John is a Titan shifter. I know, I know, its cliched. Hopefully as more of the story gets revealed, it makes more sense. As for how John and Annie know each other, and who Alexander is, that will get revealed in time as well.**

 **Please R/R. Hope you enjoyed it.**

 **Also, picture is one of two I am trying out. This one will be up for a few chapters. Please let me know what you think so I can decide which one to use**


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